Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
