I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
