Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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