i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize