Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
