So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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