why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
