I got chris browned last night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
