chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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