I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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