trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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