i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
