i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The best revenge is premature balding
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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