Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
