This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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