Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
