do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
