Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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