Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I love how my cats smell like pot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
