you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just pee around me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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