So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
