It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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