so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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