I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
