I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
