His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
