I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
