What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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