Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize