know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
