i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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