He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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