Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
