I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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