i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
