Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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