So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
