would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
