I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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