I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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