all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
