i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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