didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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