Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
