school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
