the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
