I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dignity is for republicans.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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