You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
