How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
