everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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