we have officially lost it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
