It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
