Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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