Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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