singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
