can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
