Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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