I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
