pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
