im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
