If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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