Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
