well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
